Yo Momma so poor...

Yo momma so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."

Yo momma so poor she can't afford to pay attention!

Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!

Yo momma so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!!!

Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell she says "DING!"

Yo momma so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.

Yo momma so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.

Yo momma so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp.

Yo momma so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."

Yo momma so poor she drives a peanut.

Yo momma so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.

Yo momma so poor burglars break in her house and leave money

Yo momma so poor you go out for sunday pushes of the skateboard


Yo momma so stupid she tryed to drown a fish


Yo momma so stupid she tryed to kill a bird bt throwing it off a cliff


Yo momma so poor people rob her house for practice


yo mom's so skinny


      Yo Mama's so skinny, she has to run around in the shower to get wet.

      Yo Mama's so skinny, when she takes a bath and lets the water out, her toes get caught in the drain.

      Yo Mama's so shinny, she had to stand in the same place twice to cast a shadow.

      Yo Mama's so skinny, I gave her a piece of popcorn and she went into a coma.

      Yo Mama's so skinny, if she had a yeast infection she'd be a Quarter Pounder with Cheese.

      Yo Mama's so skinny, you can save her from drowning by tossing her a Cheerio.

      Yo Mama's so skinny, I could blind-fold her with dental floss.

      Yo Mama's so skinny, her nipples touch.

      Yo Mama's so skinny, she turned sideways and disappeared.

      Yo Mama's so skinny, she can see out the peephole with both eyes.

      Yo Mama's so skinny, she can dodge rain drops.

      Yo Mama's so skinny, if she had dreads I'd grab her by the ankles and use her to mop the floor.

      Yo Mama's so skinny, instead of calling her your parent, you call her transparent.

      Yo Mama's so skinny, her bra fits better backward.

      Yo Mama's so skinny, she swallowed a meatball and thought she was pregnant.

      Yo Mama's so skinny, she uses Chapstick for deodorant.

      Yo Mama's so skinny, she uses a Band-Aid as a maxi-pad.

      Yo Mama's so skinny and flat, she's the only woman in the world with two backs.

      Yo Mama's so skinny, she inspires crack whores to diet.

Yo Momma so dark...

Yo momma so dark she went to night school and was marked absent!

Yo momma so dark she spits chocolate milk!

Yo momma so dark that she can leave fingerprints on charcoal.

Yo momma so dark she has to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls to keep from eating her fingers.

Yo momma so dark when people refer to Darkness comming in the future they refer to her next visit.

Yo momma so dark they made a movie of her heart transplant called "From the darkest heart of Africa"







Yo Momma so dirty...

Yo momma so dirty she has to creep up on bat





Yo Momma so short...

Yo momma so short you can see her feet on her drivers licence!

Yo momma so short she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.

Yo momma so short she can play handball on the curb.

Yo momma so short she does backflips under the bed.

Yo momma so short she models for trophys.

Yo momma so short she is the original Q-tip

Yo momma so short she poll vaults with a toothpick






Yo Momma so nasty...

Yo momma so nasty when she goes to a hair salon, she told the stylist to cut her hair and she opened up her shirt

Yo momma so nasty She gotta put ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh!

Yo momma so nasty she made speed stick slow down.

Yo momma so nasty she brings crabs to the beach

Yo momma so nasty she made right guard turn left.

Yo momma so nasty the fishery be paying her to leave

Yo momma so nasty she has to creep up on bathwater.

Yo momma so nasty that her sh*t is glad to escape.

Yo momma so nasty Ozzie Ozbourne refused to bite her head off

Yo momma so nasty I called her for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection.

Yo momma so nasty lice consider her a great vacation place

Yo momma so nasty she was declared quarentine since before she was born

Yo momma so nasty she joined the four horseman: war, death, famine, disease and Yo momma

Yo momma so nasty the bitches teeth look like she got jumped by the Cavity Creeps!!!

Yo momma so nasty she has two pussys and they both stink.

Yo momma so nasty she went swimming and now we have the dead sea

Yo momma so nasty skunks run from her





Yo momma so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up

Yo momma so fat her nickname is "DAMN"

Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.

Yo momma so fat were in her right now

Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise

Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone

Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors

Yo mamma so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her...

Yo momma so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for the new world

Yo momma so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy

Yo momma so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!

Yo momma so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions!

Yo momma so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"

Yo momma so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"

Yo momma so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized

Yo momma so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway

Yo momma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller

Yo momma so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets

Yo momma so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th

Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too

Yo momma so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"

Yo momma so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!

Yo momma so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"

Yo momma so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.

Yo momma so fat she fell in love and broke it.

Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.

Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.

Yo momma so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!

Yo momma so fat she's got her own area code!

Yo momma so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!

Yo momma so fat God couldn't light Earth till she moved!

Yo momma so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!

Yo momma so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!

Yo momma so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...

Yo momma so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.

Yo momma so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!

Yo momma so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!

Yo momma so fat you have to roll her ass in flour and look for the wet spot to fuck her

Yo momma so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the bitch's good side!

Yo momma so fat she wakes up in sections!

Yo momma so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!

Yo momma so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george washington's nose.

Yo momma so fat she was mistaken for God's bowling ball!

Yo momma so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!

Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps she goes straight to hell!

Yo momma so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!

Yo momma so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!

Yo momma so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!

Yo momma so fat she's on both sides of the family!

Yo momma so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!

Yo momma so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!

Yo momma so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!

Yo momma so fat that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips!

Yo momma so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!

Yo momma so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!

Yo momma so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper!

Yo momma so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!

Yo momma so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights!

Yo momma so fat she got hit by a parked car!

Yo momma so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!

Yo momma so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!

Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.

Yo momma so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping

Yo momma so fat when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.

Yo momma so fat when she back up she beep.

Yo momma so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.

Yo momma so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get again.

Yo momma so fat she influences the tides.

Yo momma so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.

Yo momma so fat she broke her leg and gravy fell out.

Yo momma so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.

Yo momma so fat she was baptized at Marine World.

Yo momma so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.

Yo momma so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her

Yo momma so fat she stands in two time zones.

Yo momma so fat it takes her two trips to haul ass

Yo momma so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through

Yo momma so fat when the bitch goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.

Yo momma so fat that she cant tie her own shoes.

Yo momma so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.

Yo momma so fat she cant reach her back pocket.

Yo momma so fat when she wears a Malcomn X T-shirt, helicopters try to land on her back!

Yo momma so fat she lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back in the water

Yo momma so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth

Yo momma so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures

Yo momma so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.

Yo momma so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.

Yo momma so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.

Yo momma so fat that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean.....

Yo momma so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, the bitch caused an eclipse.

Yo momma so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl.

Yo momma so fat she was baptised in the ocean.

Yo momma so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.

Yo momma so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"

Yo momma so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!

Yo momma so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.

Yo momma so fat the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts!!!

Yo momma so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.

Yo momma so fat she was Miss Arizona -- class Battleship

Yo momma so fat she accidently got a 747 caught in her teeth

Yo momma so fat to her "light food" means under 4 Tons

Yo momma so fat The Himalayas are practices runs to prepare for her

Yo momma so fat she went on a date with high heels on and came back with sandals!!!

Yo momma so fat she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to get the fuck off!!!

Yo momma so fat and stupid, her waist size is larger than her IQ!!!

Yo momma so fat she was zoned for commercial development

Yo momma so fat she won "Miss Bessie the Cow 94"

Yo momma so fat she has her own brand of jeans: FA - FatAss Jeans

Yo momma so fat she has more rolls than a mary jane truck

Yo momma so fat, whe she ran out of the road in front of me, I tried to swerve around but ran out of petrol.



Yo Momma so old...

Yo momma so old I told her to act her own age, and she died.

Yo momma so old she has Jesus' beeper number!

Yo momma so old her social security number is 1!

Yo momma so old that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch'

Yo momma so old that when she was in school there was no history class.

Yo momma so old she owes Jesus 3 bucks!

Yo momma so old she's in Jesus's yearbook!

Yo momma so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.

Yo momma so old her birth certificate says expired on it.

Yo momma so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.

Yo momma so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

Yo momma so old she ran track with dinosaurs.

Yo momma so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.

Yo momma so old she sat behind Jesus in the third grade.

Yo momma so old and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said, "Li'l Mary will never amount to anything".

Yo momma so old she was Jesus' Wet Nurse

Yo momma so old shes blind from the big bang

Yo momma so old even God calls her mother!




Yo Momma so stupid...

Yo momma so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes

Yo momma so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends

Yo momma so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read

Yo momma so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind

Yo momma so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl

Yo momma so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!

Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!

Yo momma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!

Yo momma so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!

Yo momma so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!

Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!

Yo momma so stupid she took a cup to see Juice.

Yo momma so stupid that she sold the car for gas money.

Yo momma so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911"

Yo momma so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

Yo momma so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."

Yo momma so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.

Yo momma so stupid she stole free bread.

Yo momma so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl.

Yo momma so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.

Yo momma so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.

Yo momma so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners.

Yo momma so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.

Yo momma so stupid when asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked, "M, F and sometimes Wednesday too."

Yo momma so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.

Yo momma so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean!

Yo momma so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds!

Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!

Yo momma so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.

Yo momma so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home.

Yo momma so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.

Yo momma so stupid she jumped out the window and went up.

Yo momma so stupid she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund.

Yo momma so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.

Yo momma so stupid that under "Education" on her job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics."

Yo momma so stupid she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house.

Yo momma so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.

Yo momma so stupid was born on Independence Day and can't remember her birthday.

Yo momma so stupid she thought gangrene was another golf course

Yo momma so stupid she couldn't read an audio book

Yo momma so stupid it take her a month to get rid of the 7 day itch.

Yo momma so stupid she thought the Nazis were saying "Hi! Hitler"

Yo momma so stupid it take her a week to get rid of a 24hr virus

Yo momma so stupid it take her a day to cook a 3 minute egg

Yo momma so stupid She has to ask for help to use hamburger helper

Yo momma so stupid She went to disneyworld and saw a sign that said "Disneyworld Left" so she went home.

Yo momma so stupid she asked me what kind of jeans I had on and I said "guess" so she said levi's




Yo Momma so ugly...

Yo momma so ugly, when she was born the doctor looked at her arse and her face and said "Siamese twins".

Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."

Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."

Yo momma so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.

Yo momma so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower

Yo momma so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.

Yo momma so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck

Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.

Yo momma so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras

Yo momma so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her

Yo momma so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.

Yo momma so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Damn, is it Halloween already?"

Yo momma so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.

Yo momma so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.

Yo momma so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.

Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry.

Yo momma so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours... for a quote!

Yo momma so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!

Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested!

Yo momma so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!

Yo momma so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn't date her!

Yo momma so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!

Yo momma so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!

Yo momma so ugly The NHL banned her for life

Yo momma so ugly people go as her for Halloween.

Yo momma so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.

Yo momma so ugly she scares the roaches away.

Yo momma so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.

Yo momma so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

Yo momma so ugly your dad's breath smells like shit because he would rather kiss her ass.

Yo momma so ugly she is very successful at her job: Being a scarecrow