Fat Jokes


Kelly is so fat, he shows up on radar.

The guy is so fat, he leaves footprints in concrete!

Bill was so fat when he stepped on the scale it said, "To be continued."

One guy was so fat, he had his own area code.

You are so fat NASA orbits satellites around you.

Kelly is so big, he plays hopscotch like, "Texas...Alabama...North Carolina...Pennsylvania..."

I know a lady named Paulette that is so fat she has to wake up in sections.

And then there is Judy.  She has so many double chins she looks like she is staring at you over a pile of pancakes.

Seriously though, Judy isn’t fat, she insists she’s just 4 feed too short.

But Paulette takes the cake.  Once she jumped into the gulf here in Panama City and the tide came in at Myrtle Beach.

Your mama's so fat, when she broke her leg, gravy poured out!

Kelly is so fat, they use his belt to measure the Earth's equator.

The guy is so fat, if someone would melt him down, they'd have enough oil to power Detroit for a month!

Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other, "Your round."
The other one says "So are you, you fat pig!"

Kelly is so fat, if he wore a GoodYear hat, he'd look like a blimp.

You are so fat you were baptized in Sea World.

You are so fat, you had your baby pictures taken by satellite.

Kelly is so fat, people jog around him for exercise.

Jim is so fat when they step on the scale it says, "No live stock please."

Yo momma's so fat she needs a VCR for a pager

Your mama's so fat that her belly button makes an echo

Yo momma's so fat her cerial bowl comes with a lifeguard

Yo mama's so fat, on Halloween she says "Trick or Meatloaf!"

Yo mama's so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get to her GOOD side.


The rather broad lady showed up at the theatre just before the
performance started and handed the usher two tickets. "Where's
the other party?" asked the usher.
"Well," said the lady, with a blush, "you see one seat
is a little small for me and rather uncomfortable so I bought
two. But they're both really for me."
"Okay with me, lady," the usher replied, scratching
his head. "There's just one problem. Your seats are numbers
fifty-one and sixty-three."

Also, there was the time Paulette fell over in the sand and rocked herself to sleep trying to get up.
  She was eventually awakened by a lifeguard who asked her to move back because the tide was waiting to come in.










Your mama is so fat, that she eats Wheat Thicks.

Yo mama is so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone

Yo momma is so fat, when she goes to a resturant,she looks at the menu and says "okay!"

Yo mama is so fat she's got her own area code

Your mama is so fat, she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of George Washington's nose

Your mamma is so fat, she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles

Yo mama is so fat, she jumped in the air and got stuck

Your mama is so fat, she broke her leg and gravy poured out

Yo momma is so fat,
you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through

Yo mama is so fat she's on both sides of the family

Yo mama is so fat that when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas

Yo mama is so fat, when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again

Your mama is so fat, every time she turns around its her birthday

Yo mama is so fat, she doesn't need the internet, she's already world-wide

Yo momma is so fat, she has pictures of food in her wallet

Your mama is so fat, all her relationships are long distance

Your mamma is so fat, she got in a horse carriage and the horse turned around and said "NO!"

Yo mama is so fat, she got a donut and returned it, complaining about the hole

Your mama is so fat, when she walked out in high heels, she came back in flip-flops

Yo momma is so fat, God asked her to move so the light He made could be seen

Your mamma is so fat, when she takes a shower, her feet don't get wet

Yo mama is so fat, people run around her for exercise

Your mama is so fat, when she bungee jumped, she landed in hell

Yo momma is so fat, when she falls, it's no laughing matter, but the ground really cracked up

Your mamma is so fat, when she heard it was chilly outside, she brought a spoon

Yo mama is so fat (and old), that it was easier for Moses to walk around the desert than walk around her

Yo mama is so fat, when she walks her feet complain

Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale, the scale's life flashed before it's eyes

Yo momma is so fat, she invented low ridin'

Yo mama is so fat, when she sat down, the Earth started rotating again

Yo mama is so fat, if she buys something in Europe, she has to reach aound to her pocket in Mexico to pay for it

Your mama is so fat, she doesn't eat Animal Crackers, she eats animals WITH crackers

Yo momma is so fat, when your father propsed, he used an onion ring

Your mamma is so fat, when she jumps in the ocean, the whales sing "We Are Family" with her

Yo mama is so fat,that when I swerved to miss her, while coming out of the station, I ran out of gas, again.

Your mama is so fat, when her beeper goes off, people think she is backing up

Yo mama is so fat, the national weather service gives names to her farts

Yo momma is so fat, she gets group discounts

Yo mama is so fat, when she was in court, the judgeasked for order, and she said she wanted 3 cheeseburgers, onion rings, 2 orders of fries and a diet coke