Two blondes lock thier keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches.

Finally the first blonde says "Darn, I can't get in the car!" The other blond replies,
"keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down".

A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor.

The doctor asked her "What happened?"

She answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang,
 but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."

"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But what happened to your other ear?"

"The person called back."

A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.

"I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day,
 and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds."

When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds.

"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?"

The blonde nods. "I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.
" "From hunger, you mean?" said the doctor.

"No, from skipping," replied the blonde.

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger.

They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't.

The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously,
"Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."

Q: What did the blonde do when she heard on the news that over 90% of accidents occur at the home?
A: She moved.

There was a blonde who was so dumb that she
a) locked herself in a restroom and wet her pants
b) got locked in a grocery store and starved to death
c) tripped over a cordless phone
d) tried to put m & m's in alphabetical order

A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident.
 Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
"My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began.
 I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me.
 So I swerved to the right,
and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree!
 I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."
"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off
, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."